Yeah, dude. ( he agrees, sagely, hands clenching and unclenching on the sides of steve's shirt. shortly said: ) Fuck.
( fuck, because he should hate himself for the violation. he's an unwelcome invader in steve's territory, the very thing of nightmares and dnd games he actually used to have fun dreaming up, making gorey and deadly and difficult. now? he empathies with the monster. he gets vecna. he just wants to feed, and feed, and feel that rushing sensation of steve's blood coursing through his veins over and over, an animal driven to blood frenzies and other frenzies, the needy, passionate kind, that kind of enjoyed kissing steve as much as he liked eating him.
it all goes hand in hand, he finds. feeding, sex. satiation, the filling and emptying and need that comes along with all of it, intimacy found in sharing the very foundation of your life with a scorned creature like him. not that steve had much of a choice in the process. the very pointed reality of that is what fights eddie off from drinking from him again, from asking if he can bite at his thigh next, or the side of his chest. asking if he liked it. if maybe he wants some more.
can't do anything like that without being a certified asshole. he probably already is one, given the state of steve's neck, and how little remorse eddie feels for the taste engulfing his mouth. he lets out an obnoxious breath, an almost censorious glint to his expression. )
You taste ... good. That's — damn annoying, actually.
( even more annoying that he brought it up, really. who cares what he tastes like? well — eddie, for one. he's pretty confident there's nothing else in the world like him, or maybe it's just a think that you get addicted to the first drop of human blood you ever taste. whatever the case, it's all he can think about for a minute, cutting steve open and lapping at his veins like a hungry dog, tasting where the blood is richer at the center of his chest. tasting where the meat gets tougher on overused muscles, how bitter and strong he can get his blood. how much he'll like it anyway, since it's coming from him.
he forces himself to remember when snapped him out of the frenzy in the first place. dustin, right. eddie presses his hands flat on steve's waist, still chilly but warmer now, thumbs rubbing back and forth on his hipbones. eddie takes a deep breath, ignoring the burn of steve's scent in the back of his throat, teasing him. )
Can't let Henderson see me like this. He's —
( he'll hate me. )
He's gonna freak. You're gonna freak, if you aren't already freaking. Double fuck. ( he lets out a huffing laugh. ) I should not've come back.
[ the ground feels firmer and firmer under his feet as the seconds pass, and the spinning that steve feels starts to slow. his hands are bunched in the torn, tattered fabric of eddie's clothes. eddie's hands are at his waist, and are most definitely holding him up. they are standing in the back room of family video because robin just left to get...whoever. anyone. and steve had stayed behind to watch eddie, to make sure he was okay, that he would be okay.
between that point, and this, something has very distinctly changed.
and maybe that is an understatement. maybe steve is disgustingly underselling the events that have just gone down. but it's also hard to think about any of them at all when eddie is still this close to him, when eddie feels marginally warmer, has more color, doesn't appear to drift away if steve took his eyes off of him. eddie munson, who had died in the upside down, who now has his hands on steve's waist. is now holding him up.
steve blinks, and he feels warm. the dizziness is wearing off (marginally) and he thinks he could probably stand on his own, if he wanted to, but something keeps him attached. keeps him this close. (it's too similar to that meeting of theirs in the boat house, isn't it? eddie's eyes on steve's throat, steve feeling pinned, a little panicked, a little something else.) ] What? [ because steve is still trying to come to terms with the whole eddie just bit him and drank his blood thing, and had been nearly sure he must have hallucinated the whole thing, up until eddie goes and supports it. says you taste good and steve's chest is tightening again.
with effort, steve puts a little distance between them. it's barely half a step, and still within reach, but now steve feels less like he's dependent on eddie's arms and more like he can look at him. like he can see what is going on and figure this out. steve's hands are still bunched in eddie's shoulders as he searches his face, his eyes, catches what he thinks might be edges to eddie's teeth (fangs). but then eddie is freaking out (contrary to what he says) and steve feels himself jerked back into the moment. ] Wait- [ dustin, oh god oh shit he hadn't even thought of that. hasn't thought about what is going to happen when anyone else gets here. what they're going to think. he's still caught up on what the fuck and eddie is alive and the fact that heat in steve's gut hasn't really gone away yet. has gotten almost uncomfortable.
I should not've come back
steve's eyes snap back then, suddenly clear. ]
No- no. Stop. Just- stop, for one second. I'm. [ steve feels a bit like his heart is racing a little too quickly, a little too loudly. a part of him shakes eddie just to get him out of that line of thinking, finding his eyes again. ] You should have come back, it's good you made it back. I don't know how you did it, but you did, and that's- shit man, that's all that matters. You're alive. And Henderson, he'll- we'll figure this out, whatever it is. Okay?
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( fuck, because he should hate himself for the violation. he's an unwelcome invader in steve's territory, the very thing of nightmares and dnd games he actually used to have fun dreaming up, making gorey and deadly and difficult. now? he empathies with the monster. he gets vecna. he just wants to feed, and feed, and feel that rushing sensation of steve's blood coursing through his veins over and over, an animal driven to blood frenzies and other frenzies, the needy, passionate kind, that kind of enjoyed kissing steve as much as he liked eating him.
it all goes hand in hand, he finds. feeding, sex. satiation, the filling and emptying and need that comes along with all of it, intimacy found in sharing the very foundation of your life with a scorned creature like him. not that steve had much of a choice in the process. the very pointed reality of that is what fights eddie off from drinking from him again, from asking if he can bite at his thigh next, or the side of his chest. asking if he liked it. if maybe he wants some more.
can't do anything like that without being a certified asshole. he probably already is one, given the state of steve's neck, and how little remorse eddie feels for the taste engulfing his mouth. he lets out an obnoxious breath, an almost censorious glint to his expression. )
You taste ... good. That's — damn annoying, actually.
( even more annoying that he brought it up, really. who cares what he tastes like? well — eddie, for one. he's pretty confident there's nothing else in the world like him, or maybe it's just a think that you get addicted to the first drop of human blood you ever taste. whatever the case, it's all he can think about for a minute, cutting steve open and lapping at his veins like a hungry dog, tasting where the blood is richer at the center of his chest. tasting where the meat gets tougher on overused muscles, how bitter and strong he can get his blood. how much he'll like it anyway, since it's coming from him.
he forces himself to remember when snapped him out of the frenzy in the first place. dustin, right. eddie presses his hands flat on steve's waist, still chilly but warmer now, thumbs rubbing back and forth on his hipbones. eddie takes a deep breath, ignoring the burn of steve's scent in the back of his throat, teasing him. )
Can't let Henderson see me like this. He's —
( he'll hate me. )
He's gonna freak. You're gonna freak, if you aren't already freaking. Double fuck. ( he lets out a huffing laugh. ) I should not've come back.
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between that point, and this, something has very distinctly changed.
and maybe that is an understatement. maybe steve is disgustingly underselling the events that have just gone down. but it's also hard to think about any of them at all when eddie is still this close to him, when eddie feels marginally warmer, has more color, doesn't appear to drift away if steve took his eyes off of him. eddie munson, who had died in the upside down, who now has his hands on steve's waist. is now holding him up.
steve blinks, and he feels warm. the dizziness is wearing off (marginally) and he thinks he could probably stand on his own, if he wanted to, but something keeps him attached. keeps him this close. (it's too similar to that meeting of theirs in the boat house, isn't it? eddie's eyes on steve's throat, steve feeling pinned, a little panicked, a little something else.) ] What? [ because steve is still trying to come to terms with the whole eddie just bit him and drank his blood thing, and had been nearly sure he must have hallucinated the whole thing, up until eddie goes and supports it. says you taste good and steve's chest is tightening again.
with effort, steve puts a little distance between them. it's barely half a step, and still within reach, but now steve feels less like he's dependent on eddie's arms and more like he can look at him. like he can see what is going on and figure this out. steve's hands are still bunched in eddie's shoulders as he searches his face, his eyes, catches what he thinks might be edges to eddie's teeth (fangs). but then eddie is freaking out (contrary to what he says) and steve feels himself jerked back into the moment. ] Wait- [ dustin, oh god oh shit he hadn't even thought of that. hasn't thought about what is going to happen when anyone else gets here. what they're going to think. he's still caught up on what the fuck and eddie is alive and the fact that heat in steve's gut hasn't really gone away yet. has gotten almost uncomfortable.
I should not've come back
steve's eyes snap back then, suddenly clear. ]
No- no. Stop. Just- stop, for one second. I'm. [ steve feels a bit like his heart is racing a little too quickly, a little too loudly. a part of him shakes eddie just to get him out of that line of thinking, finding his eyes again. ] You should have come back, it's good you made it back. I don't know how you did it, but you did, and that's- shit man, that's all that matters. You're alive. And Henderson, he'll- we'll figure this out, whatever it is. Okay?