and just cause you're used to pain doesn't make it okay, either dipshit
[ the words are thought out, or whatever this is, before steve really notices how out of place they might be. except he and Clarisse are okay, aren't they? because that feels a little too close, a little too like they were in those not-memories, a little too...
ah, it is what it is. it's out there, and Clarisse is still yelling at him, and. yeah. okay. maybe he needs to stop overthinking this whole thing. Clarisse lays into him and it's not uncomfortable, it's not wild, but something about the conversation itself still doesn't compute for him. ]
you wanna call what happened in that dream a Sign? you're starting to sound like some preacher on tv my mom used to listen to
and no! i haven't considered it! because he's never done a fucking thing about it either he's been weird since we came back, okay?? it's been WEIRD so i don't know what you expect me to do about that, either
[ but then he sees Clarisse say you wanna know what my fucking deal is? and steve very suddenly, very immediately, know it's not a time to keep arguing. the words keep showing up as Clarisse gets into it, as she talks, and steve can't remember if this is new information or remembered, if this is something he's heard before of it is something about Clarisse that just doesn't... surprise him.
and yet...does.
it's another moment where steve feels the weird, off-putting separation between their lives, and yet a bit like there isn't any separation at all. steve feels like he knows what it means, to be in the midst of warzones (no matter how imagined they may be), what it means to lose a friend in your arms. losing someone like that changes you, but bringing in the concept of who it could be, who it could be... ]
no subject
dipshit
[ the words are thought out, or whatever this is, before steve really notices how out of place they might be. except he and Clarisse are okay, aren't they? because that feels a little too close, a little too like they were in those not-memories, a little too...
ah, it is what it is. it's out there, and Clarisse is still yelling at him, and. yeah. okay. maybe he needs to stop overthinking this whole thing. Clarisse lays into him and it's not uncomfortable, it's not wild, but something about the conversation itself still doesn't compute for him. ]
you wanna call what happened in that dream a Sign?
you're starting to sound like some preacher on tv my mom used to listen to
and no! i haven't considered it!
because he's never done a fucking thing about it either
he's been weird since we came back, okay??
it's been WEIRD
so i don't know what you expect me to do about that, either
[ but then he sees Clarisse say you wanna know what my fucking deal is? and steve very suddenly, very immediately, know it's not a time to keep arguing. the words keep showing up as Clarisse gets into it, as she talks, and steve can't remember if this is new information or remembered, if this is something he's heard before of it is something about Clarisse that just doesn't... surprise him.
and yet...does.
it's another moment where steve feels the weird, off-putting separation between their lives, and yet a bit like there isn't any separation at all. steve feels like he knows what it means, to be in the midst of warzones (no matter how imagined they may be), what it means to lose a friend in your arms. losing someone like that changes you, but bringing in the concept of who it could be, who it could be... ]
i'm sorry about your friend, clarisse
seriously