[ in the time and space that seems to be reserved for only them, in the quiet hours of not quite-morning that brings everything to that liminal pindrop standstill, eddie finds it difficult to look away from steve's face and all the thoughts that pass along the tired, sharp angles. from the easing expression, that beginnings of a smile that further quirk up a corner of his own. that starting hint of humor that seems to come to the surface until eddie keeps talking and that expression changes. that lightness , such as it was, is wiped clean and its back to something serious and dire and eddie hates himself a little more for it. its what makes him stop the flow of words, and look away, back to his knees.
thinks its likely back to something tense, or regrets that he kept talking, until steve's foot is shoving up against his calf and it has him looking back over with some marked sense of surprise and he'd be lying, he'd so be lying if he said his heart didn't skip a beat at the moment when he looks to steve and that tired smile and those honest words as his head falls back against the bedside table, as his foot just sort of flattens against his leg. eddie's eyes fall to the column of steve's neck, with how his chin tips up. to the fading, though no less angry mark encircling around it.
he swallows against a lump in his throat. ] ...Yeah. Yeah, okay. [ voice low, the beginnings of rough, because he's again met with the undeniable fact that he is not, simply, alone. for every moment he doubts it, for every moment he thinks there could be a wall built back between him and the guy he was inexplicably jealous of days before, steve comes careening through all of it with a defiance of expectation, and settles further and further into eddie's ribcage until eddie isn't sure if he'll ever be able to be without him. maybe its dramatic, but eddie had a particular penchant for dramatics anyway.
his leg, gently, gives a single push back against him and that dimpled smirk, that single corner of his mouth tipping back up. ] I mean, I'm definitely not planning on it. On going back, I mean. But — [ he sighs, and maybe there's that penchant for theatrics again, but it doesn't lessen the vulnerability in his own tone, thick with sentiment. ] — I would if I had to, you know? [ he looks surprised, as though he hadn't expected that from him either. ] Like if you had to do your hero shit again and go back in for any other reason, I guess — I guess I'm just saying I'd have to go in after you too. [ it feels like a messy sort of confession. ] 'Cause, you know, now that I owe you like, a Wookiee life debt and all.
[ it's a poor joke, and maybe it won't land, but eddie tries to soften it, to tie it all together with a light pat atop steve's shin. ] So, ugh — right back at you.
[ you made my nightmares better, he'd said. eddie wants to ask if he could stay, for the rest of the night; if they needed rooms separating them. he's so much less afraid now. except for the fact that — he still holds his tongue. and yet, it seems that neither make to move away from this any time soon. ]
[ it does feel like their own space, doesn't it? something safe, even when they both know better. something theirs, even if the room itself is sterile, like something out of a magazine. eddie's been staying here for a couple of days now, sleeping in this room, making his mark on steve's life. and honestly, that is probably why this place feels safe at all. because it's not just the guest room anymore. it's eddie's - little details left around, things messed up, a bed that hasn't been made in days.
he huffs a kind of laugh when eddie agrees with him, the relenting in the yeah, yeah. eddie pushes back against steve's foot, and it has steve cracking open one of his eyes, just in time to see the smile. the dimples. the dramatics in everything he does. but the words that follow are what settle in steve's chest - i would if i had to - and that wipes whatever smile off of steve's face again. that has both his eyes open, his head lifted up from where it had been leaning on the bedside table, because he suddenly feels like he can't let this go. like there's something else in those words that he can't quite catch.
and it's not just the fact he...does not recognize what a wookie is. ]
A what debt? [ because he just doesn't....know. what that is. he blinks, and then shakes his head, his eyes going immediately to where eddie's hand is in his shin, and then back up to him. there's the smile again, as if he's offering something here. like there is something he is handing over across this space, something he hopes eddie can take. will take. what it is, he's not even sure, but it feels...fragile. hopeful, but fragile. ]
Listen, Eddie, this whole shit- [ and honestly? steve doesn't even know what he's saying. and whatever it he's trying to say, he's probably saying wrong. but it feels...important for him to say something. so he just. keeps talking. ] I'm sorry you got wrapped up in it. It sucks- like. Really sucks. But we'll get something figured out- or, I mean, Dustin and Nancy and the rest of them will be the ones to get it figured out. I won't be a lot of help there. But it will work out, it always does.
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thinks its likely back to something tense, or regrets that he kept talking, until steve's foot is shoving up against his calf and it has him looking back over with some marked sense of surprise and he'd be lying, he'd so be lying if he said his heart didn't skip a beat at the moment when he looks to steve and that tired smile and those honest words as his head falls back against the bedside table, as his foot just sort of flattens against his leg. eddie's eyes fall to the column of steve's neck, with how his chin tips up. to the fading, though no less angry mark encircling around it.
he swallows against a lump in his throat. ] ...Yeah. Yeah, okay. [ voice low, the beginnings of rough, because he's again met with the undeniable fact that he is not, simply, alone. for every moment he doubts it, for every moment he thinks there could be a wall built back between him and the guy he was inexplicably jealous of days before, steve comes careening through all of it with a defiance of expectation, and settles further and further into eddie's ribcage until eddie isn't sure if he'll ever be able to be without him. maybe its dramatic, but eddie had a particular penchant for dramatics anyway.
his leg, gently, gives a single push back against him and that dimpled smirk, that single corner of his mouth tipping back up. ] I mean, I'm definitely not planning on it. On going back, I mean. But — [ he sighs, and maybe there's that penchant for theatrics again, but it doesn't lessen the vulnerability in his own tone, thick with sentiment. ] — I would if I had to, you know? [ he looks surprised, as though he hadn't expected that from him either. ] Like if you had to do your hero shit again and go back in for any other reason, I guess — I guess I'm just saying I'd have to go in after you too. [ it feels like a messy sort of confession. ] 'Cause, you know, now that I owe you like, a Wookiee life debt and all.
[ it's a poor joke, and maybe it won't land, but eddie tries to soften it, to tie it all together with a light pat atop steve's shin. ] So, ugh — right back at you.
[ you made my nightmares better, he'd said. eddie wants to ask if he could stay, for the rest of the night; if they needed rooms separating them. he's so much less afraid now. except for the fact that — he still holds his tongue. and yet, it seems that neither make to move away from this any time soon. ]
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he huffs a kind of laugh when eddie agrees with him, the relenting in the yeah, yeah. eddie pushes back against steve's foot, and it has steve cracking open one of his eyes, just in time to see the smile. the dimples. the dramatics in everything he does. but the words that follow are what settle in steve's chest - i would if i had to - and that wipes whatever smile off of steve's face again. that has both his eyes open, his head lifted up from where it had been leaning on the bedside table, because he suddenly feels like he can't let this go. like there's something else in those words that he can't quite catch.
and it's not just the fact he...does not recognize what a wookie is. ]
A what debt? [ because he just doesn't....know. what that is. he blinks, and then shakes his head, his eyes going immediately to where eddie's hand is in his shin, and then back up to him. there's the smile again, as if he's offering something here. like there is something he is handing over across this space, something he hopes eddie can take. will take. what it is, he's not even sure, but it feels...fragile. hopeful, but fragile. ]
Listen, Eddie, this whole shit- [ and honestly? steve doesn't even know what he's saying. and whatever it he's trying to say, he's probably saying wrong. but it feels...important for him to say something. so he just. keeps talking. ] I'm sorry you got wrapped up in it. It sucks- like. Really sucks. But we'll get something figured out- or, I mean, Dustin and Nancy and the rest of them will be the ones to get it figured out. I won't be a lot of help there. But it will work out, it always does.