[The wound on her arm isn't nearly as bad as it could have been. But if she hadn't been such a coward, if she hadn't just run like a scared little kid, maybe things would have turned out differently.]
It's not that bad.
[Her voice is shaky and a chill runs down her spine, but she reluctantly meets his eyes when he asks if she was just outside. Slowly, she gives a nod.]
[ 'not that bad' doesn't mean much around here, considering 'bad' could also mean 'dead'. still, steve watches her for any other signs, though, anything that tells him the blood on her arm isn't just a cut, before he sighs and loosens his worried grip on her arms. ]
I'll get a rag- sit. [ though even as he says it, standing up from where he'd been leaning down to be more eye-level with her, he doesn't really take his hands away. instead, he guides her slowly more into the kitchen, and then towards one of the stools. ]
[It's just a gash. Not enough to even require stitches. Probably. It's definitely not life-threatening.
Any other time someone would try to guide her to sit down like this, they'd be on the receiving end of a glare or possibly a punch in the shoulder. Right now it barely even registers what's going on and she lets him lead her to the kitchen to sit down on the stool.
She sits obediently, pressing her lips together in a thin line as she struggles not to cry. God. If Billy could see her right now he'd be laughing at her.]
[ well, that's a relief, considering steve's rudimentary knowledge of first aid would not actually extend to stitches and probably just barely extends to cleaning. still, he's going to try, slowly walking her and and over to a stool, watching how hollowly she settles before he moves over to the sink.
it's a couple of silent moments later, once he finds a rag and wets it, that he walks back over to where she's settled, noticing how much she's fighting not to cry and pointedly not staring at her while she does it. ]
Pull that up. [ he motions for her sleeve, moving to sit at the stool next to hers and gently taking her wrist, waiting for her to pull up the sleeve before he moves to set the damp towel on her arm, trying to clean around it.
it takes another second, maybe a couple, before he lets out a breath. ] You sure you're okay?
[Later, when it dawns on her that he didn't stare at her or make her feel like she was an infant for crying, she'll be extremely grateful. Right now, though, she just does as he instructs and tugs up the sleeve of her hoodie, wincing involuntarily as she does.
She holds her breath as he cleans it with the rag, dropping her eyes at the question.]
[ he feels bad, watching her wince when she pulls back the hoodie, but there isn't a whole lot more he can give to her. so instead, he just wipes off her arm and sets the cloth down onto the gash.
there is a slight pause when she does answer, her voice hushed, and steve watches her. ]
So? [ which, honestly, probably isn't the best response. but he's looking at her, exhausted in his own right but also...unimpressed isn't the right word. concerned, maybe? ]
[It's not an entirely unexpected response when he doesn't know all the facts or have all the information yet. She meets his eyes, but only for the briefest of moments before letting her gaze drop once more.]
No...I ran and I shouldn't have because someone else...
[Her throat tightens and for one awful moment she's sure she's going to sob and she can't.]
I distracted Faith. She was helping someone else and when I ran toward her, the girl she was helping - she got stabbed.
{ except that the facts and the details don't change his opinion, and even as she looks at him and looks away, he simply stares back. maybe raises both of his brows. ]
You shouldn't have... why? So you could get stabbed? Hey-
[ he forgets the towel, letting it fall to the ground as he moves to stand in front of her, leaning down so he's not standing that much taller and setting his hands on her shoulders. ]
Hey, Max, come on. [ he squeezes her shoulders once. ] You're okay, that's what matters.
[She doesn't want to die. Not at all. It's not like she thinks her life is less valuable than anyone else's. But - ]
I've been learning how to fight since I got here. All these people have been training me and instead of fighting back, I ran, Steve. And someone else died because I was a coward.
[The tears she's been trying to fight back spill over now and she sniffs quietly.]
[ he opens his mouth initially to argue - to say that she's just a kid and shouldn't have to be saving anyone, herself included. but it all feels a bit like a moot point, knowing what is going on outside, knowing where they are.
so instead of saying anything, steve presses his lips together in a tight line and leans forward, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her into a tight hug. he doesn't really know why, or what gave him the idea, but the thought is there and he decides to act on it rather than think too much. ]
[Physical affection isn't something that Max is used to by any means. Occasionally she and Eddie hug, but overall it's not a thing that happens a lot in general.
Still. When Steve wraps his arms around her in a hug, for once she doesn't hesitate to hug him back, burying her face into his shoulder in a way she never could or would with her actual stepbrother. But then Steve's slowly becoming more of a brother to her than Billy's ever been.
She doesn't say anything when he tells her she's not a coward. She is, in so many ways. When it comes to Billy, when it comes to unexpected attacks, monsters...in so many ways she feels like a child afraid of the dark. And that's not something she can afford here OR back home for so many reasons.]
[ there's a moment there where steve wonders if maybe - possibly - she's not the hugging type. that he possibly has crossed a line. but then max wraps her arms back around him and buries her face in his shoulder and steve squeezes her back. ]
I'm actually a really great person to cry on, so don't worry about it.
[A muffled sound escapes her - somewhere between a sob and a laugh, and she nods against him.]
Yeah, you are.
[Because he's not mocking her for crying or calling her weak. She lets herself hold onto him a moment longer before she forces herself to pull away, sniffing and trying to smile.]
[ he'll take the half of that that sounds more like a laugh as a win, waiting until she pulls away to sit back himself, brows arched. ]
Told you. [ and then with a smile, he'll reach out and kind of tussle the top of her head, standing to reach down and pick up the discarded rag. ] You don't have to apologize, either. Half the shit that happens out there is enough to make me want to cry myself to sleep maybe every other night. So.
[Max doesn't even scowl when he musses her hair, and she watches as he picks up the rag from the floor, pausing at that revelation. It's not at all expected.]
You get scared?
[There's a hint of doubt in her voice. She'd seen him use himself as bait for the demogorgons back home. He definitely hadn't seemed afraid. It's hard to imagine he gets scared of much of anything after that.
Still. Even if he's just trying to make her feel a little better about being a total wuss, it's a nice gesture.]
[The words do actually make her feel a little better even under the crushing weight of the guilt she feels. To hear that someone like Steve gets scared is somehow reassuring to her. It's not something Billy or Neil would ever admit to, regardless of the circumstances. Despite everything, a tiny smile touches her mouth and she shrugs.]
I watched you take on a pack of demogorgons without batting an eyelash. You didn't seem afraid then, so I guess I thought maybe you just didn't get scared.
[She knows that's true enough when it comes to herself. She just hadn't really applied it to anyone else. She exhales slowly, watching him look around.]
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It's not that bad.
[Her voice is shaky and a chill runs down her spine, but she reluctantly meets his eyes when he asks if she was just outside. Slowly, she gives a nod.]
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I'll get a rag- sit. [ though even as he says it, standing up from where he'd been leaning down to be more eye-level with her, he doesn't really take his hands away. instead, he guides her slowly more into the kitchen, and then towards one of the stools. ]
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Any other time someone would try to guide her to sit down like this, they'd be on the receiving end of a glare or possibly a punch in the shoulder. Right now it barely even registers what's going on and she lets him lead her to the kitchen to sit down on the stool.
She sits obediently, pressing her lips together in a thin line as she struggles not to cry. God. If Billy could see her right now he'd be laughing at her.]
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it's a couple of silent moments later, once he finds a rag and wets it, that he walks back over to where she's settled, noticing how much she's fighting not to cry and pointedly not staring at her while she does it. ]
Pull that up. [ he motions for her sleeve, moving to sit at the stool next to hers and gently taking her wrist, waiting for her to pull up the sleeve before he moves to set the damp towel on her arm, trying to clean around it.
it takes another second, maybe a couple, before he lets out a breath. ] You sure you're okay?
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She holds her breath as he cleans it with the rag, dropping her eyes at the question.]
I ran.
[Her voice is hushed.]
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there is a slight pause when she does answer, her voice hushed, and steve watches her. ]
So? [ which, honestly, probably isn't the best response. but he's looking at her, exhausted in his own right but also...unimpressed isn't the right word. concerned, maybe? ]
Good. You should have.
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No...I ran and I shouldn't have because someone else...
[Her throat tightens and for one awful moment she's sure she's going to sob and she can't.]
I distracted Faith. She was helping someone else and when I ran toward her, the girl she was helping - she got stabbed.
[She quickly brushes a tear off her cheek.]
There was so much blood.
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You shouldn't have... why? So you could get stabbed? Hey-
[ he forgets the towel, letting it fall to the ground as he moves to stand in front of her, leaning down so he's not standing that much taller and setting his hands on her shoulders. ]
Hey, Max, come on. [ he squeezes her shoulders once. ] You're okay, that's what matters.
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[She doesn't want to die. Not at all. It's not like she thinks her life is less valuable than anyone else's. But - ]
I've been learning how to fight since I got here. All these people have been training me and instead of fighting back, I ran, Steve. And someone else died because I was a coward.
[The tears she's been trying to fight back spill over now and she sniffs quietly.]
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so instead of saying anything, steve presses his lips together in a tight line and leans forward, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her into a tight hug. he doesn't really know why, or what gave him the idea, but the thought is there and he decides to act on it rather than think too much. ]
You're not a coward.
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Still. When Steve wraps his arms around her in a hug, for once she doesn't hesitate to hug him back, burying her face into his shoulder in a way she never could or would with her actual stepbrother. But then Steve's slowly becoming more of a brother to her than Billy's ever been.
She doesn't say anything when he tells her she's not a coward. She is, in so many ways. When it comes to Billy, when it comes to unexpected attacks, monsters...in so many ways she feels like a child afraid of the dark. And that's not something she can afford here OR back home for so many reasons.]
Sorry for crying all over you.
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I'm actually a really great person to cry on, so don't worry about it.
[ because humor??? helps??? ]
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Yeah, you are.
[Because he's not mocking her for crying or calling her weak. She lets herself hold onto him a moment longer before she forces herself to pull away, sniffing and trying to smile.]
Sorry.
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Told you. [ and then with a smile, he'll reach out and kind of tussle the top of her head, standing to reach down and pick up the discarded rag. ] You don't have to apologize, either. Half the shit that happens out there is enough to make me want to cry myself to sleep maybe every other night. So.
[ shrug. ]
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You get scared?
[There's a hint of doubt in her voice. She'd seen him use himself as bait for the demogorgons back home. He definitely hadn't seemed afraid. It's hard to imagine he gets scared of much of anything after that.
Still. Even if he's just trying to make her feel a little better about being a total wuss, it's a nice gesture.]
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You're kidding me, right? Shit yeah I get scared. Have you looked outside like ever?
[ he looks over at max with a raised brow, like she was completely crazy for even asking. ]
I'd be more worried about people who didn't. Those are the crazy ones.
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I watched you take on a pack of demogorgons without batting an eyelash. You didn't seem afraid then, so I guess I thought maybe you just didn't get scared.
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Yeah no, seeming scared and being scared are totally different things.
[ he tosses the rag into the sink, looking around for some kind of first aid kid - they keep those in the kitchen, right? ]
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What are you looking for?
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A bandage? They should be in here, right?
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[He's gotten a lot of it stocked up.]
I can get it, though.